The American Work Ethic

I have the world’s least important and most obsolete job.

I do advertising sales for a local newspaper. It is a weekly paper. It is a job that will suck your soul dry of any and all cheer that it may once have possessed. You will leave at the end of the day with your eyes dry and tired, your brain mush and your mood utterly sour. Your friends will hate to see you within an hour of leaving work. They will not ask you anything about work. They do not want to know, it’s too depressing.

So, with so much to do and such important things at that, I am here in the office on New Year’s Eve. I was supposed to work Christmas Eve as well but I called out “sick” (I was simply heartbroken, but that’s sick enough for me). I worked the day after Christmas and I will be here January 2nd. Our deadline for this week’s paper was this morning at 10am. Anyone who called before then (a grand total of 4 people) could get his/her ad in. All the other people will have to wait ‘til next week. I have spent today saying, “Sorry it won’t be in until next week.” Or hearing the voice on the other end say, “Oh! I didn’t actually think anyone would be there…why are they making you work?”

I wonder that same thing; why are they making us work? We are currently the only department still here (and only one of us is out today…otherwise it’s the full department). Everyone else left before noon. They will have time to nap and relax before having plenty of time to primp and ready themselves to go out and celebrate the year that will be. I have been here since 8:30 this morning. I am supposed to stay until 5pm. I have decided to forego lunch and leave at 4pm. They will likely have an issue with this, though I can’t really figure out why.

I have spent the majority of the day thus far (it is now 1:25pm) playing “Oregon Trail” on Facebook; people keep getting bitten by snakes or suffering from cholera or dysentery. Silly people, they’re slowing down my progress! But I digress. I am disgruntled, as are my fellow coworkers. The fact that we are the only department here is punctuated by the fact that we are the only part of the building with lights on. We are not performing any valuable service; if people had to wait another 24-48 hours to put their ad in for the following week I don’t think they’d be any worse off. They cannot get in for this week so technically they have until 4:30pm next Tuesday. And yet, I am still here.

My boss has been trolling about, checking to see whether the phones are ringing. There are two calls every 30-45 minutes. 1.5 of those calls inevitably hangs up saying if they have until next Tuesday at 4:30 they’ll just call back later in the week.

So here I sit, caulking my wagon and floating it across the river; stealing from Rob’s wagon, hunting buffalo, geese, rabbit, and deer; making my wagon rest so that Rachel won’t be annoyed with me anymore, and B can heal from her many snakebites (she often gets lost too). There is nothing much I can do for Madeleine who is constantly hankering for a cigar.

I have also spent a short bit of time dreading my New Year’s Eve plans. I will be going to a nightclub. Why? I’m not entirely sure. It was something to do and lord knows I need to get out and stop wallowing in my week + self pity fest. I dragged Mo into this with me so hopefully we’ll enjoy ourselves. Madeleine is throwing an upscale party with the Frenchman. My Italian is in Paris (bastard). B will likely do something with R. Gabe is going to bed early. This concludes my list of friends. Even my parents had a party to go to. Lame.

Ah well, onward and upward my friends. I have an Oregon Trail to finish!

Happy New Year!